Listening with Heart 360: The New Paradigm for Women [ILLUSTRATED] (Paperback)
[This is focused on girls living in the media dominated high tech worlds. The skills that can be learned are useful for becoming more awake to making better choices each instant of one's life - instant by instant - without the usual unconscious programming and conditioned habits of life.The periodic negative and simplistic projections of the author leave a lot to be desired. The idea of positive ways of individuals setting aside their conditioning, becoming aware of their unconscious behaviors and finding more appropriate ways can be very useful. The use of intuition - acting with wisdom for the situation and circumstance can be a great alternative to the usual dysfunctional standard programming.]
by Elizabeth Diane
Link here to the book info
Here is the website:
http://www.listeningwithheart.com/home.cfm
Here are YouTube videos:
http://www.listeningwithheart.com/home.cfm
CHAPTER ONE - INTRODUCTION
Listening With Heart is not another self-help book. It is a help the world book, “by you helping.”
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It is important to make the following point right from the very beginning. Listening With Heart is not against anything. We are simply interested in raising the consciousness of women. This book is not about making the media, advertisers or big business the scapegoat and the root of all women’s problems.
Listening With Heart is about making more women aware of where our thinking as a whole is. And where the female consciousness is at the moment, it is hurting and holding far too many women back for it to remain at its present level. And at this point in time our thinking is resonating far too strongly with what is called programming.
WHAT EXACTLY IS PROGRAMMING?
http://www.listeningwithheart.com/helpyou.cfm
Programming consists mainly of two parts. The first part is the media, advertisers, and big business. This type of programming is a system solely designed for the purpose of making money. The second type is the demands and expectations placed upon us by others. In other words, the second type of programming encompasses all of the roles that we play out in this thing called life.
In the beginning the programming does your thinking for you. When the programming is making your decisions , your thinking automatically becomes limited. We run into difficulties in our lives, particularly as women, because we honestly believe that the programming is our only option. There have probably been instances in your life where there have been new possibilities and the freedom to begin again, but you remain distracted. You begin to live to the rhythm of the programming and forget the value and worth in yourself. In no time at all, your natural stride is replaced by another’s walk and you begin to wonder why you feel out of step.
Programming is anything and everything that takes you away from your natural self and makes you believe and feel that you have to be something that you are not. Many times you can’t see it, but the programming is continuously floating around and you are battling it all of the time. The programming makes you feel like you just don't belong, that you are simply are not enough. You see if you are contented and happy with the way you are, then you will not be all that interested in the programming. On the other hand, if you are feeling incomplete and looking for something to make you happy, then GOTCHA! The programming is anything that makes you believe that you have to be a square but deep down in that real place you call home you are most definitely and without a doubt a circle.
Much has been written to educate women on the negative impact that the programming has on us. But unfortunately ladies, in many cases, all it has left us with is simply more information. There has been no significant shift in our thinking and the female consciousness has been stalled in a holding pattern. This is leaving far too many of us not only confused but also frustrated by the fact that we are not moving as fast or as far forward as originally anticipated.
THE MAJOR SIDE EFFECT OF ALL OF THE PROGRAMMING
The major side effect of all of the programming is the question:
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?"
How will this glass half empty type thinking ever lead you to feeling good about yourself? Remember that the first part of the programming is a system solely designed for the purpose of making money. Repeat. It is designed to make money not to progress your thinking. If this type of programming was interested in making you feel good, so that your thinking could be freed up to explore other areas, then we would see many more size 12-14 models. More women could then declare, “Hey I look similar to her, I could look good in that outfit and I don’t have to change a thing about myself to do it” The programming consists of an endless assembly line of “New and Improved” products that supply a myriad of answers to the side effect question, “What is wrong with me?” So they keep making money, (can’t fault people for making a living) but in the meantime too many of us continue to feel stuck or trapped because the programming is working and we are not accepting ourselves as we are.
And ladies, if we are not being ourselves, we are being someone else.
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CHAPTER TWO - WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?
Listening With Heart can help you if you are living somebody else’s idea of life. It could the media, the magazines, your spouse, your boyfriend, your mother, your father, or your employer. It does not matter. What matters is that you have and have always had the ability to become the rudder of your own ship; to be on your own path living life on your own terms. On our own terms sounds good, eh? Just be prepared to hear your friend comment that you have indeed changed and that you don't sound like yourself. Your answer will be something like this. “I was tired of doing what everyone was telling me to do. I have decided to do things the way I want to do them. You know what? I get more done and have some spare time for myself. I do things in the order I want to rather than in the order others would have me do it. So everyone can start to take a number and I will get to it, in my own time.” When you can say that, and those around you accept you and love you; you are back in charge. The programming in this area has lost its grip.
What is an alternative to the programming? THE HEART. You see our heads can be programmed but the heart cannot be because the heart is where wisdom dwells. The heart is a reminder of what we once knew but carelessly did not commit to memory; each and every one of us has what it takes. It’s in our D.N.A. If this idea doesn’t resonate well with you, don’t worry, the programming is still working.
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But the programming can never shut down that deep down place where we belong, the home of being enough. THE HEART.
The world gives us many wonderful roles: Daughter, student, sister, mother, career women, and wife. Please add in anymore that exist in your life. We not only cherish most of the roles bestowed upon us but more importantly we learn from them. But where we seem to get confused and it is very easy to get mixed up here; we are not those roles. Cue and enter the second type of programming that consists of all the expectations and demands placed upon us by others; the roles that we play.
it is not what we are doing but
WHO WE ARE NOT BEING
that is taking up our valuable energy.
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CHAPTER FOUR
NATURAL WEIGHT: A LINE WOMEN CAN PUT IN THEMSELVES
Listening With Heart defines “Natural Weight” as:
A balance point (homeostasis) that the body will maintain ... as long as eating is primarily based in response to natural hunger. The balance point to a very large extent is determined by DNA.
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CHAPTER NINE
THE SITUATION WHEEL
The situation wheel is designed for the purpose of taking away some the frustration of life’s circumstances you find when working on a problem. How many times do you think about a relationship you are in, ... any relationship concerning someone else and each time you do, you find yourself in the same spot? Say if someone said something or did something to you, even if it was months or even years ago. It is like opening a book, turning to the page and there it is. In other words, you have not moved since the last time this situation was at the front of your thinking.
Since you have not moved and would like to, we have designed the Wheel to help you along. You understand a car will not move if it did not have wheels, therefore let’s use the same principle to move your thinking along. In the physical world we invent things to help carry the load and make life more bearable. However, in our thinking, our six inch universe, the powerful space between our ears, we don’t seem to have the same help and find ourselves getting stalled far too often. The wheel is here to help you.
HOW TO USE THE WHEEL: A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER EXAMPLE
The following section will help prepare you to get your thinking more in line with the wheel. Look at it this way. Far too many women think about things as being right or wrong, happy and unhappy. Keep in mind your mind is not just two levels- upstairs and downstairs but more like a skyscraper with 100 plus levels. And this is the way to fill out the wheel. Each piece of the pie represents 100 levels. There are eight pieces to the wheel, seven situations and one for the overall performance.(OP) Here is an example of a mother and daughter working on their situations.
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CHAPTER TEN - I WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT
Wishful thinking. Let’s begin by suggesting that you do your best not confuse wishful thinking with dreaming. This is a line that is blurred by far too many women.
A dream is a possibility fueled by forward momentum. Forward momentum that is provided by living with what is rather than wishing they be otherwise. In other words, dreaming has its seeds in authentic action or more simply, in the truth.
On the other hand, wishful thinking camouflages the truth. Although, wishful thinking may be a couple of notches above negative type thinking, the results unfortunately are very similar. INERTIA. STAGNATION. GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS. STUCK. Why? It seldom progresses, same wishful thinking, different day. There is a very important point to be made here. Without the programming we wouldn’t need wishful thinking because we would be too busy out there living. How much of our lives are dedicated to wishful thinking without going out and doing something for ourselves?
Wishful thinking is an attractive option because in this place your husband is going to change after you have children, your child isn’t doing “those” things, and you are definitely happier now that you have lost the weight. Virginia Woolfe so succinctly wrote, “It is much more difficult to slay a phantom than a reality.” Wow! Did she ever understand the essence of the programming! Ladies, the programming is our phantom, cleverly and consistently disguised as our reality. And the programming initiates wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is tricky because it is extremely difficult to pinpoint. On the surface it doesn't present as threatening. But soon, a the lie begins its slow, seductive dance as the truth and you end up drawing your answers from there instead of from what is real. Please don’t make the mistake of assuming that you can relegate the truth to the back of your thinking in one area of your life, and not run the risk of having it impact on all other areas. Ladies, life is passing us by because it’s in motion and we are stuck. Stuck in the wake of wishful thinking that is leaving too many of us gasping and gulping for air. And the programming, well the programming has us all convinced that this is breathing!
Take a look behind the roles and there you are. As we progress through life what many of us do not realize is that our roles are only temporary, a fleeting part. But tightly we hold on, all the while not realizing that we are slipping right through our own hands. As one day rolls into another, some of us can’t help but feel that something is missing, a palpable emptiness. This is the space where we use to be. We wish that we could write that some other force was responsible for this loss, this vacuum, but the reality of it is no one is taking it from you, you are giving it away. And since you are the one giving it away, it is therefore very much in your power to take it back. The six-inch universe is just that, a universe. And in a universe a thought can travel as far as you want it to. We have become short sighted not because we lack a keen eye but mainly because our vision has been obscured. Let’s take a good look around. There has to be more to it, doesn’t there? We start off as young girls, who cannot imagine looking like anything other than a manufactured image, and end up as women twisting and turning, unable to face forward and simply be ourselves.
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CHAPTER ELEVEN - GET INTO THE GROOVE
Thoughts are our mode of transportation through this life. Our six- inch universe, that ever-powerful space between our ears, is the place where we do all of our living. We don’t live “out” there somewhere, but our lives are either consistently propelled by the momentum of our thoughts or stalled by the inertia of them. Our thoughts are alive and literally have the power to take us anywhere and everywhere. So where is it exactly that your thoughts are taking you? Are you going places or just being programmed? Whatever we choose to think about becomes part of our world. And with each thought we are making a distinct impression on our six- inch universe. These impressions are called GROOVES.
Let us consider a thought or thought patterns to be very much like each separate song on a CD. You play cut one and of course get the first song, cut two the second song and so on. So how is it that our thoughts and thought patterns become grooves? Well, say that you have a favorite song on the CD and you press the repeat function so that you will hear the song over and over again. Each time that you have the same or similar thought a small groove is formed. Of course it makes sense that the more you have a particular set of similar thoughts the deeper and wider a groove will become.
So, who or what is responsible for the grooves of your thinking? Now this is a tough question because most sane women would say who the heck do you think is in charge of my thinking? I am. But are you really?
You see we live in a world that if you intentionally break someone’s leg you are most likely going to get charged and go to jail. Most of us must see the harm in order to understand it. However, when someone breaks a person’s spirit they are off the hook. The damage has been done to the person’s thinking, their six-inch universe. The injury has taken place in that invisible place where our grooves are spinning. What we need to begin to understand is that the programming is operating on this level. It would be beneficial if someone could come up with a physical way to protect our thinking so that the programming could not get in. But a visible, physical barrier doesn’t block the invisible programming. So we must arm the six-inch universes with our own thoughts.
It’s an interesting concept, women thinking for themselves. It’s a new millennium and it’s time ladies!
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CHAPER TWELVE - DEPROGRAMMING: HOW TO TUNE INTO YOUR HEART
Intuition is a smooth flowing response to situations and people in our lives. It is a quiet voice that is there all of the time. We think that it originates in the head but it comes from the heart. When the heart speaks we hear it as wisdom and intuition is simply a flash of this wisdom that we are able to tune into. Intuition isn’t attached to anything; it just is. Intuition doesn’t fear; it just calls you to act. One of the reasons why intuition is so hard to define and explain is that you can’t force it or will it to come. You can’t even plan it. Intuition just comes to you in its own time and in a way that many times only you will understand.
There is no set pattern to follow and specific things to expect with intuition, as there is when we use our logic. But, because logic and rational thought are definitely needed to get by in this world, they remain at the front of our thinking for most of our day. If intuition simply got placed to the back of our thinking for safekeeping, we would still be aware of it. However, for most, intuition has become something that is very unfamiliar, something reserved only for the spiritually evolved gurus meditating in their caves. But we all have it. Intuition is our built in ability to listen to our hearts, to eavesdrop on eternity. It has no set curriculum, no definite right or wrong, no black or white in its thinking, just a reservoir of answers and a hope that you pick one.
Getting in tune with our intuition is very much like learning how to drive a car. At first you must concentrate a lot on the task, locating the indicators, the lights, focusing on the road ahead. Soon, however, we realize that we are driving and the tasks that once required concentration are more automatic. The more we use and act on our intuition the more it will seem like it is not intuition at all. Your intuition will become automatic and soon becomes a larger part of your thinking. You are beginning to remember what we are all born with. Our intuition invites us to take back all of the parts of ourselves that we have given away. You will know that intuition is a part of your life when things seem to be working out and the world seems a better place.
Whole and complete women can offer up a lot of strength and resistance to all that life and the programming can throw at her. Our hearts complete the picture. Without spirit we fall vulnerable and depend on society to give it to us. We become dependent on manufactured spirit like alcohol, drugs, and food to name just three. Soon our bodies become use to these and simply want more. But what we must keep in mind is that when our spirits are down, so are our emotions and this lowers our resistance to life and its daily knocks. We simply become bodies going through the motions and calling that a life.
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN - LET'S KICK IT UP A COUPLE OF NOTCHES!
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Love is a sphere of wonderment, very much like the sun, with billions of rays emitting from it. Much of the world’s thinking is weighed down and stuck in disagreement as to the ways that are best to get there. But if we could all realize that one size don’t fit all, we could relax and take comfort in the fact that we are all going to get there.
... Love is like a young child knocking gently at the door and if you are not in a peaceful frame of mind, you are not going hear it. You are too distracted.
Face it, most of us can drown out a full blast television set with all of the internal arguing and worrying that we do on a daily basis. So love remains at the door and we complain that it has become an orphan. In reality love hasn’t gone; the location of your mind is holding it at a precarious distance. To change the location of your mind, find time in your day to just be. It is in this stillness and quiet that doesn’t judge your name; that you can get to know yourself.
Listen, hear the gentle knock and let love in. The “ah ha” notion rushes in; everything that you ever wanted is right here, in front of you, and has been all of this time.
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CHAPTER FOURTEEN - TO INFINITY AND BEYOND
...First our thoughts are full of fresh and distinct possibility. But our six-inch universe is far too large a circle to fit into the ever- shrinking square of the programming. “Why isn’t it easy being me?” It is not easy because you are being someone else.
... The power of the six-inch universe has been underestimated. This is where we give the programming a life but it is also where we live. Where there is a different thought, there is another way. Where there is a new idea, there is a distinct path that wants its say. Express it in your own way. ...
[Being] somebody else is no longer the best person to live out your life. This is your life and the rest of it that we are talking about.
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Here are reviews from Amazon:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Change your life by listening, September 19, 2008
By Reader Views "www.readerviews.com" (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews
Reviewed by Danelle Drake for Reader Views (9/08)
"Programming is anything taking you away from your natural self and making you think you have to be something you are not." Ok, I admit, I had to re-read this sentence more than once to understand it. I really didn't get it. "Life is too short for unnecessary sadness." No misunderstanding there - I get it - man, do I get it.
"'Listening with Heart' is all about building bridges over troubled spots after the red flags are flying." It's about thinking positive, not letting fear rule your life, and being happy with yourself. "Thinking more positive can be done from anywhere." `Listening with Heart 360" will help search deep inside yourself and assist you in becoming more aware of your self-perception. Step out of the mold and take a risk.
Many of the issues females face in the world today are dealt with inside the pages of this book. Troubled by a poor body image, you are introduced to negative and positive pounds. Write down what you eat, if you can't cut anything out, cut back. Change your habit - you can do it.
Weathering the storm of adolescence is always a challenge. Dealing with daughters experiencing puberty and having a positive response to your child is a definite challenge. You will be led to better prepare her for adulthood in ways that will help her become a strong, independent women.
Marriage and happily ever after, yes it can be realistic. Getting past the fantasy and living in the real world. You are expected to behave in one manner, and have many responsibilities. You are shown how you can still be a wife but also be a happy individual. If your marriage is not happily ever after, you are shown how this experience can have a positive outcome and make you stronger. Divorce is compared to childbirth; until you experience it, you have no idea.
"Listening with Heart 360" is designed to be read in conjunction with using their website. It will give you useful tools to help you analyze different life situations. As a parent of four daughters, I have read chapter 5: The Storm and chapter 6: The Hormonian Age several times and would highly recommend the book solely based on these chapters alone.
"Listening with Heart 360" by Elizabeth Diane and Andrew Marshall will activate your consciousness and lead you to think things you may never have considered. Opening your eyes about things you would never have thought will have a very positive impact on your self-perception. Regardless of the phrasing, you are given information to help you lead a more positive life.
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5.0 out of 5 stars The Enchanted Self, a Positive Therapy finds a paradigm friend in Listening With Heart, May 27, 2008
By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein "Dr. Barbara" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
The Truth: I'm a Girl, I'm Smart and I Know Everything As a positive psychologits who has developed a new paradigm for the treatment room, explained in The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy, designed to encourage hope, optimism and to specifically help women and girls use their strengths, talents, copins skills, and potential, even lost potential, to build happiness, purpose and meaning into their lives, I was thrilled to come across Listening with Heart. This book is filled with the wisdom that women need to hold on to themselves, their dreams and the 'songs of the soul' that they wish to sing. The book carefully explains how we are all influenced by programming that happens outside of ourselves in society and can so easily give up the destiny that is rightfully ours. In particular, girls are given help, via the ways that Ms. Diane and Mr. Marshall, teach their mothers, to understand the 'storm' of growing up as a teenager and how not to give in to the passions of that period of time that may not serve them well emotionally, socially or physically.
This is a very dense book with a tremendous amount of social and emotioanl material, plus a spiritual perspective that is uplifting. I would suggest that women, guidance counselors, therapists, junior and high school teachers, all take the time to read this book. As the authors say, "The Lady is on Stage and se is Getting Ready to Sing" on p. 104. Let's make sure us women and the next generation of girls, all sing!
Editorial Reviews
This book introduces two authors who get it! Instead of inundating women with statistics and yet another strategy of how to cope with life's imbalances, Elizabeth Diane and Andrew Marshall address the root cause, not the symptom. And the root cause of imbalance experienced by girls and women alike is called programming.The book not only introduces the ahead of the curve concept called programming but also an innovative relationship tool called The Situation Wheel designed to help women improve upon any relationship in which she maybe struggling. With revolutionary insight into the 'de-programming' process, authors Elizabeth Diane and Andrew Marshall trigger new angles of thinking for girls and women. Whether it is in their attitudes toward their bodies or in relationships; this book can help women find their own authentic lives. A wonderful Mother/Daughter gift can be found between the covers of this innovative book. The book is a must read for all women because it is The New Paradigm For Women!
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